Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
