He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize