My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love you. Go after that dick
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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