So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
