Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
