wrigley field is MILF paradise
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
