If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
