I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
