so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
