I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
