"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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