God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
