You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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