I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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