did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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