Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
