Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
