i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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