I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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