census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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