I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
