She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
