All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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