Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
