singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
