Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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