this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
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