just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
