so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
