Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
