i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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