4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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