What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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