okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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