I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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