lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
