is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
