Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
