I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
