Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize