I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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