fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
