everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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