WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
