More tranny stories later!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
