You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
