I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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