mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
