Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
