I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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