Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My pussy is not your playground.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You're like the curious george of whores
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
