You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
