everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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