She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
