we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
