Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
3pm strippers are depressing
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
