I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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