I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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