thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I am morally bankrupt
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
