Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
