I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
