I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Green mimosas i think yes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
