birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
