omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
