doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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