i just had sex bonerless
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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