I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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