So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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