After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
