don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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