The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
